Finding My Voice
/“Words mean more than what is set down on paper.
It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning”
~ Maya Angelou
Happy Spring Everyone! I had intended to record and post this Museletter before the month of March came to its graceful close and before April began to blossom. But moving into my new home took all of my creative energy and attention, so here I am.
March is and was a meaningful month for me. It’s the month of my birthday and the beginning of springtime here in the northern hemisphere, with its promise of warmer weather, blooming flowers, and brighter sunnier skies. And around the world, we celebrate Women’s History Month.
March 8th is International Women’s Day and on March 24th we honor Equal Pay Day for Women. It is deeply troubling to me that in this country, and in other places, in many instances, women are still not being paid the same wage as their male counterparts, working in the same job. How can this possibly be?
This year’s theme and vision for International Women’s Day 2021 is: “ChooseToChallenge” and the quote below is the mission statement:
“A challenged world is an alert world. Individually, we're all responsible for our own thoughts and actions - all day, every day. We can all choose to challenge and call out gender bias and inequality. We can all choose to seek out and celebrate women's achievements. Collectively, we can all help to create an inclusive world”.
There you have it. I would add that we need more than a day, a week, even a month to celebrate women’s achievements and repair inequality.
Each and every one of our voices and choices matter because there is a massive cost in not celebrating women’s achievements. There is a vast and far reaching cost to ourselves, and to others, in not choosing to call out gender bias, inequality, misogyny. There is an immeasurable cost in not choosing to challenge the old exclusive ways. And there is a profound cost, both personally and globally, in not choosing to create an inclusive world. Ultimately there is also a deep and heartfelt cost to our unique souls when we do not choose to honor our sacred creative voices.
And in that spirit, I would like to share with you below, a poem I wrote a few years ago, when I began in earnest, to reclaim my own true creative voice. One morning, as I sat at my kitchen table, much like I am now, with my journal open in front of me, my pen began to move with intention and passion across the blank white pages. What I understood in that moment was that my soul had something significant to convey to me, and I’d best pay rapt attention.
My Muse, a.k.a. the inner creative voice inside of me, is known to show up at seemingly random times, often unbidden, yet always welcome. And I’ve learned from experience that it is futile to resist her and that these moments are a precious gift. This inner voice is benevolent, and has my best interests at heart, so it is in my best interests to listen well. What came through that morning was a poem I entitled, My Voice.
Well one day, a few years later, my same pesky wise Muse showed up again, this time with the bright idea of enrolling me in an 8 week class with 7 other brave souls, under the skillful mentorship of Dixie Cox and Clifford Henderson. These two creative midwives mentored the eight of us in the creation and birthing of original ten minute solo performance pieces, which we each performed in front of a live audience... I was terrified.
But with the support of these creativity whisperers, I was able to stretch beyond my lifelong limiting stagefright, move toward what scared me, and discover a more courageous playful expression of myself.
It was a profound experience, and since then, I’ve come to understand how essential it is to have loving support whenever and wherever we are leaning into the hard stuff in life, moving toward the unfamiliar, the places that spook us. How powerful and empowering it is, to be witnessed and held by loving eyes and arms, on our personal creative walkabouts.
My vision for Creative Resonance ~ Painting, Poetry & Play for the Soul is to support women in their sacred creativity and sovereignty. I offer individual online sessions, and in the near future, I hope and intend to offer outdoor group workshops... so stay tuned.
Now I would like to share with you my poem, in honor of this year’s International Women’s Month, and in honor of the ongoing practice of bearing witness and supporting each other. May we each continue to “choose to challenge” the old, outmoded, oppressive ways, and may we celebrate our unique, essential, authentic voices. Here is “My Voice”:
MY VOICE
My voice covered in dust and fine silt,
deeply embedded in sandstone,
beneath broken bits of bowl,
cracked clay, shards of mineral,
animal, rock, and bone.
This voice coated in rust,
parched and flinty, dry as desert gusts,
thirsty as scorched sandstorms,
her eerie breezes blowing remnants of unbirthed poems,
unsung songs, haunting solitary horizons.
My voice lusts for good company,
longs to be undressed, just so,
unbutton brash, but bashful soliloquy,
coax cobwebbed simile and moth-bitten metaphor,
disrobe deftly my smitten tendrilled core.
This voice flushed with a tremulous fire,
imagines igniting embers of tamped down desire,
warm my whispering voice, hushed, but never expired,
this voice gone missing such a long, long time,
blushed, but still burning, with a quiet requiem.
My voice buried, but never broken,
trussed and gusseted, prepared then postponed,
sincere as a prayer invoked and intoned, daring solitude to be alone,
brushed over, crushed over time, to a fine alchemical powder,
now medicine for my soul’s genuine clamour.
This voice, now salve for hands not clapping,
antidote for toes too long not tapping,
elixir for words so long not sassing, now gasping,
daring to fuss and to cuss and push past self-doubting,
panting and ranting into unladylike shouting!
My voice, she’s been so long simmering,
this shy “I” voice, has been sizzling and silently listening,
she’s been steaming and stewing, fermenting and brewing,
bubbling in a cauldron of cacophonous longing,
caramelizing a confection of brassy belonging!
This voice, she’s fixing to sashay her saucy self right up to life.
Why it’s high time I sidle off that dusty shelf and display my light!
Yes, it’s a decidedly fine time, to encourage my courage
to shine and to share. Well I do declare!
I’m trusting my voice enough, to finally dare.
